Hatred is a Funny Thing
by kkann
Summary: It isn't that he hates his son -because hate is such a strong word, isn't it?- no, it's that he hates everything he stands for: the man he once was and the life he could and will never have. *Darth Vader attempts to understand Anakin's son* One-shot.


_Initially this was part of the _'A Pod-Racing Jedi and a Queenly Senator' _story I had posted. But due to the fact that the story wasn't headed in the direction I'd wanted it to and generally because I thought these vignettes worked better as one-shots posted on their own it's being dismantled.  
>Originally posted: 418/11.  
><em>  
>"You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom you cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love." <em>-Sri Chinmoy<br>_**A/N: **Father/son angst. Works for me.  
>Spawned for watching a certain scene in <em>Return of the Jedi<em> and then an episode of The Clone Wars.  
>This episode, to be exact:<p>

"If we aren't willing to do what it takes to win, we risk losing everything we tried to protect."  
>"Unfortunately war tends to distort our point of view. If we sacrifice our Code, even for victory, we lose that which is most important: our honor."<p>

* * *

><p>Darth Vader does not like Luke Skywalker.<p>

As he purposefully makes his way down the corridor, he is struck with the sudden realization of this fact from the moment the young man glances up at his inorganic height.

_The Emperor has been expecting you._

He does not like the way he runs in as if owned the place, lightsaber ignited and brow furrowed.

He does not like the way he carries himself, the way he stares incredulously at the black mask with childish naivety and pretends he truly knows the man behind it.

_I know, father._

He does not like his stubborn temperaments and inability to give up even when he has surely lost.

He does not like the all too familiar facial features and natures with which he composes himself even when his life is threatened.

He does not like the way he can look at this boy and see a man he never again wanted to imagine, let alone think he knew.

He does not like how his last name is Skywalker or that he himself is too much like his mother, though his sister in nearly her reincarnate.

Luke calls him Anakin even when his title is meant to be Darth Vader or at the very least 'Father,' a word that even he cannot truly recognize.

But Luke, like his father before him, fails to see how deep he is digging into the wound until he himself is in much too deep.

In that moment, Vader wonders whether or not he should smile at the words the boy has just uttered in his presence.

_So, you have accepted the truth?_

In his own right, this is Vader's personal victory. He has turned his son over to the Dark Side no, but he has re-staked his claim in what is rightfully his.

Even death cannot take everything from a man with nothing.

But even utterance of the word 'Father' does not cause Darth Vader to appreciate his 'son' any more or less.

If the boy were to by any chance finally join his father, somewhere in the back of his mind Vader knew he would be nothing more than a liability. To his father and himself.

Sometime in those near twenty years, Darth Vader has learned that hope is a futile thing best left to those staring down into the bottom of a bottle or depending upon others to save them.

_I have accepted that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father._

Vaguely, the Sith wonders why Luke is so dependent on believing the lie even with the truth laid out before him.

Obi-Wan never was too skilled at keeping secrets.

_The name no longer has any meaning for me!_

And in that moment when Luke stops to stare at his father's emotionless mask, the latter sees nothing more than a brief recollection of himself.

But Anakin Skywalker doesn't exist and Darth Vader has taken the place a man ruled by his emotions and fear.

He feels something very indistinctly tremble in the Force that has had little to do with him for the past two decades and his resolve wavers somewhere in the realm of darkness no one can see into.

Luke does not deserve this life, but he does not deserve this death either.

_Search your feelings, Father, you can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate._

Darth Vader knows nothing but hate. Nothing but hate and anger and cool indifference.

He is more machine than man and metal doesn't feel pain.

But Vader knows what he son does not and it is the father's right to enlighten the boy.

Can a monotone respirator convey any bit of slight remorse?

_It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now._

In a horrible way, the flash of panic and short-lived resentment in the boy's eyes are more than enough to sate Vader's masochism for the time being.

It is Darth Vader –not Anakin Skywalker—that has condemned the fledging Jedi –not his son—to his either his sudden rise or imminent demise.

But Anakin Skywalker knows humility; Darth Vader does not.

Darth Vader is aware of two things in his half-life: death and obedience. He has not lived to this point by being his son.

_Then my father is truly dead._

Vader does not make it a point to correct him.

Anakin Skywalker will save his son, whether or not Darth Vader will allow it.

Because a father does not betray his son for a man that threatens to kill the boy he hardly knows.


End file.
